but the lizard people decide everything anyway
nah, its part of my diet to keep track of the servings of everything i put into my body
how many servings is brandon's dick?
I just saw the host of Singled Out do standup. Holy shit 1995.
Funny, I didnt know that facebook statuses were for crappy song lyrics
i just saw you make out with a girl with facial hair...just thought i would document that in case you forgot
He drew a face on his balls with a sharpie. It was like giving head to a unicorn.
My head is pounding and I need an ice pack for my vag. Successful friendsgiving!
Remember how he wouldn't sleep with me "out of respect"? Well, Mr. Respect just fingered me in a parking garage.
2:23 am. Im just at McDonalds, in my pajamas, at 2 am, paying in nickles, cuz thats how i roll.
2:26 am. Im just being thrown out of McDonalds, in my pajamas, at 2 am, without my nickles, cuz thats how i roll.
I see your creepy poodle photo and raise you a shirtless elderly gentleman who looks like a yetti in cutoffs who may or may not have an ENORMOUS erection.
.... touche....
Goddamn it Peter ur the only person i know who can make going down on a girl a competition.
She won. Twice.
I see the guy who's been trying to get me to let him eat my ass became engaged on Facebook today; would framed screen shots be an appropriate wedding present?
I woke up not knowing what state I was in. Turns out, people from Deleware are pretty helpful.
Roomies told me I showed up to my house alone with no pants on and burrs in my hair... I live in the middle of the city
HIDE THE INFLATABLE PENIS
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