It doesn't matter if they shave you or not, you're still susceptible to the staph infection.
sorry if i was weird last night, had weird deja vu that we had done that before, i mean with the peanut butter.
we had.
well that explains the rash. i dont think i should see you again.
He had personality for days, but cock for only minutes
there's just something about her that screams "i'm into chicks who wear flannel"
i guess its officially winter break. i woke up alone and fully clothed this morning.
There is a girl on the metro with no shoes and she's using a Crown Royal bag as a purse.
Look I know it's late and I hope this doesn't wake you up but I feel like you should know that I'm sleeping on my couch in my own apartment so that my friend can get laid in my bed, and I would do the same for you.
i'll probably be on drugs forewarning
forewarning i'll probably have done those drugs with you
Will give head in exchange for a Netflix password. Serious inquiries only please.
You were making out with a freshman and said you wanted to back to his place. Then when you got to the door to leave you said "never mind." He sad it wasn't fair and you got all serious and told him "welcome to the real world kid."
Naw. I'm tired and I'd have to shave my legs. I doubt the sex or the company would be worth it.
When we were done he got down next to the bed and I thought he was Tebowing. He was hitting a bong that he had already loaded and hidden under the bed.
Who'd have thought a guy with a lisp would be so good with his tongue?
What am I supposed to say? "Oh hey, I can't go out with you tonight because I can't picture myself sleeping with you and I was high and just trying to be nice when I said yes"?
Going to jail. Warrant. Be home late. For the love of god turn your ringer on.
Randomize
