'hiiiigh' is saved in my t9 for a reason
So my Christmas cards this year will be my mug shot with my kids face photo shopped next to me....too ghetto?
he asked if thats how we do it in the states..like there's cultural difference in fucking between canada and the us..
You coming out tonight? We gotta hang out before I move to Madison. BTW I'm moving to Madison.
until he told me my vag was like a juicy apple and he loved eating it, yes, i really did think we were both sober.
I'm not gonna lie; I was dosed with mushrooms and am eating pickles with a guy in all white. It's weird, but I'm down. Help.
just thought you should know it took me an hour and a half to make soup. I had to keep laying on my kitchen floor. being 21 is hard.
#1- I went to button my shirt only to find they were all mising. #2- I'm so fu@king sore I feel like I was sweating to the oldies all night. #3- this pounding headache I have, I blame solely on Jennifer. Everyone sounds like Billy Mays when they talk. I remember nothing from last night, I'm concerned.
I woke up in an apt hallway this morning and a nice lady brought me coffee cause she thought I was homeless
There is an alarming amount of urine in here.
There's Dick Pix, Zorro, and The Little Engine that Could. I nickname my fuck buddies for the exact same reason why you don't name animals which you will one day have for dinner.
He literally cried into his tacos and screamed fuck bitches. Don't know if it was the best, or the worst hook up, ever.
if you go to jail tonight, call call me. i wanna get out of work
Seeing someone hit Themselves in the balls with someone else's hand is amazing. I love being the sober one
woke up with 8 used magnum condoms bound together by floss around my neck, thats about all im gonna tell you.
Randomize
