Yeah, we realized keeping you in a cage wasn't beneficial to us
I think we should start referring to bisexuals as "strays"
since we're both too lazy to go to each others house, you drink there, i'll drink here and we'll skype. it's the same thing.
Just because your phone has a case on it doesn't mean it will survive a 5 story drop out the window.
I woke up in bed alone w 2 bite marks on my boob... Salt and pepper shakers In my purse along w a bottle of steak sauce.... The drunkasauraus has struck again
I wonder what it's like for my roommate to live bicuriously thro my sex life
are you just sitting in your hotel room drinking popsicle vodka?
.....well anything sounds bad when you say it like THAT
He left for work so I drank pickle juice from his fridge
Btw...refried beans is a terrible thing to throw up.
It's been awhile, you pregnant yet?
I just want someone to put their head on my boobs and laugh at my jokes ....
Not my fault people bought me shots. waving a shot in my face is like waving a cock in yours
I have so much to do, no motivation, and Harry Potter is on. You KNOW whats taking priority in my life right now
He doesn't understand the concept of a strip club. He keeps falling in love
Unfortunately the rum ran out midway through our viewing and we had to suffer in silence for the rest of it.
Randomize
