wooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo
ooooooooooooo i'm drink
WTF why am I in the Atlanta airport?
oh great. the only prospects for sex left for the night are douchebag in the ed hardy shirt & frodo-looking ass
fuck it... i'll be the lord of his rings
my roommate just said, "don't look at it, just put it iin your mouth"
At barnes & noble, drinking beer out of thermoses, lookin legit.
The Ex's are trying to talk to the GF. Game face bro.
Naked Twister starts at high noon
I walked in and saw him spread eagle on the couch beatin it, while he just pet the dog that sat there and stared. mom was pissed
I look like one classy bitch running in heels through my backyard while carrying a small dog and a large bottle of booze. How am I still single?
Seems like you've kicked summer 2012 off well.
in the middle of getting head my cat meowed. she looked up , meowed back, and then continued giving me head.
In hindsight combining orgy Thursday with mystery drink madness was begging for failure
If I had a mugshot, I would totally use it as my main picture on Tinder, just to keep it interesting.
Guess who just hooked up with a guy who was wearing a shirt from his mom's "dress up closet"?!
Can't meet up at the party. Gary was caught by the cops attempting to drop a deuce thru his ex wife's Subaru via sun roof. Details as soon as bail is processed.
I should've negotiated that before I sat on his face.
Randomize
