I think I'm going to be in trouble for sneaking out last night. My Dad saw me drive up this morning when he was leaving early for work.
What'd you say?
I told him I was sleep driving
Just had to open a tuna can with a spoon. Gave me a sense of hunting for my own food.
He actually believes he's not an alcoholic if he doesn't go to meetings.
whoever created level 16 on brickbreaker is a dick
if they reproduce, their children will be the worst quarters players ever
I was just compiling a top 5 blowjobs list and that's in there for sure.
So, this year for my birthday, want to get rip-roaring schmammered and watch my episode of my super sweet 16? We can do lines off my tiara.
I had to run home with my hands covering my tits this morning. How does this keep happening?
Something about Sunday night screams phone sex
I have vodka and explosives. For once, we can blow something up that isn't a blow-up doll.
One singular head for man, one giant climax for mankind
I jus want to remember tomorrow how proud I was tonight for wearing my rainbow leggings as a long sleeved shrug I feel like fucking MacGuyver
I’m literally lecturing this class on professionalism, while my body is undoubtably covered in leftover cum from last night. I’m a fucking role model.
Apparently I told him the people made me order taco bell I didn't even want it. And then proceeded to turn off all the lights and sit at the kitchen table in the dark and told him not to look at me.
If he isn’t into CosPlay he will be after tonight. That naughty nurse outfit heals broken hearts
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