it was all downhill after the free blackjack taco
You bring the bicep workout. I'll bring the unscented gentle products. We'll both bring our penises.
If we both stop thinking about your penis for just a moment, we'd realize it is important and good that you are spending quality time with your family
Just woke up and my doorbell is on my nightstand... the fuck?
I just feel like I should give it a rest. I'm too old to be drinking bottles of grey goose and falling into koi ponds.
You look cute and you are awesome. And that means something coming from a judgmental bitch
HOLY FUCK I JUST GOT WOKEN UP BY THUNDER!!!!!
I THINK I SHARTED
I woke up this morning and the search history on my phone says: "What is this castle in front of my house?"
My philosophy is thug life and that means never having to say your sorry for stealing drinks off tables
And that facial hair. He might as well shave it so it spells "douche" on one cheek and "nozzle" on the other.
Played never have I ever with high schoolers today. Needless to say they brought up threesomes so I had to make a judgement call and decided to not put my finger down
im glad to be known as "the girl you had sex with on a golf course"
have no fear, swaggie olivia is here to bring glorious gifts and horse dick to children
I took my makeup off with mouthwash. Seemed like a good idea. It worked.
Oh, did your mom say anything else about my butt?
Randomize
