apparently i tried to put my coat in the microwave.
why cant girls ever use the fly? why do they always have to awkwardly try to pull it over your belt?
at a bonfire and someone threw a plastic cup in the fire. everyone immediately stopped what they were doing to yell collectively at him about what he was doing to the environment, then went back to drinking
only in oregon
90 In a 65. Talked my way out of it with the i have to poop story. i am the ticket jesus
i have one question about last night
if this is about your fridge being filled with hotdogs, sour cream, and PB&J open-faced sandwiches, i can explain
He passed out. Woke up long enough to declare himself "the sauce boss" and then bit me in the face.
just saw someone climb out of the dumpster at cvs and start walking down the street like it was completely normal
Ive seen him cuddling a giant inflatable seahorse. Nothing could be creepier than that.
Life is too short to have fake orgasms.
These are all good points. But, I think your under estimating what it's like to be held upside down for a standing 69
It took years to build this empire of casual fuckings and not carings.
And anyway at least being paid in opium makes a cool story
Sorry I didn't call this morning. Ended up with a decorated war veteran last night who besides finding the enemy, KNEW where the fuck my G spot was. He gets a medal in my book!
Dont... please don't. Don't fuck him on his bean bag bed
And by "sexually intimate," you mean fuck buddies?
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