i just googled the alphabet. i couldnt remember if it was jklomnop or jklmnop.
First date: that requires underwear, huh?
were trying to schedule when i can give him head in between classes.
just threw up on my speech test, so much for a great semester
She stumbled in with some guy, woke me up, introduced him and said "This is my sister. She's a freshman. She probably hates you."
You kept screaming how great you were at drawing poptarts and you insisted on drawing them all over my forearm
You okay?
I walked into work with a banana and a loaf of bread
I just told the toilet I loved it. Bad sign.
The strip club incident sums up our friendship pretty well
This has to be the weirdest conversation I've ever had sober and in the middle of the day before.
I pack a first-aid kit when I DD for you. What does that tell you about your partying? For what I see and do, paying my food and gas for the night is a goddamn BARGAIN.
Yep that's the face of someone whose dick I would put in my mouth without hesitation
He stood next to me peeing as I was puking behind a car in the parking lot, telling me how much he loved me. On the other hand, he loves me!
There are flour footprints all over the house. Either u guys are trying to pull that Paranormal Activity shit on me again, or u got drunk and tried to make pancakes.
We hotboxed his bathroom. going to be a good night
Hotbox went wrong - smoke sets off fire alarm. Firefighters coming
Randomize
