Also my back is semi rug burned and I'm holding you fully responsible.
I would love to give you more rug burn
my boyfriend just named your boyfriend's penis.
You smell like a Billy Joel song
her dad's the mattress king, she's genetically engineered to be good in bed
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She told me to stay away from him cause apparently he fucks anything that walks. clearly i responded with..."i walk"
We'll probably be arrested for having a cheetah in our apartment anyway, so I say go for it.
Only your wife would write 'for deposit only' on the back of that $1500 check knowing full and well our capabilities of spending it on strippers and booze
Yeah he gave the rest of the brownies to the bouncer that took his fake
He was like a foghorn with a huge penis.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Quesedillas should not make me weep and drinking water should not make me feel like god is giving me mouth to mouth. Never again.
Just saw a huge group of people walk by in there in their underwear. Too stoned for this.
You told me that they girl who was giving you a handjob under the table looked a little like your sister
i peed in the parking lot at work not even thinking, a woman saw
She kept giving the uber driving directions and we all thought they were wrong so we'd send him the other way. Turns out she wasn't guiding us home, but to the half gallon that she hid in the bushes on the way to the bar.
All I've done today is nap, eat candy and get off from my vibrator. I didn't know it was possible to be THIS single.
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