another moral hangover. fuck.
so i woke up on my toliet naked backwards. good night.
I love college. Only here at ten in the morning can you hear "Man, hot sauce on my pussy was my worst idea in a long time." while walking down the hall.
I just asked my hair stylist how many percocets she'd do my hair for.
just because she threw up on my junk doesnt mean i dont like asians anymore
Turned out the thing on the lampshade was a bloodstain, not a bedbug. We feel much safer now.
Just remembered seeing jalepenos in my vomit last night. Reminded me to thank you for sharing your queso with me. You're a good friend.
A man bought two 40's from me, then asked if I had duct tape. How do people over 50 know about Edward 40hands? It was very weird.
You stared at the ground for like 20 minutes willing yourself to get sober
Dude it's SB. It's a proven fact that all you need to survive on is beer, weed, chips and maybe some amphetamines
Lol what? Monday night impromptu acid drop was the alternative.
I just masturbated to the thought of him straight up talking to me. to us having a conversation. What the hell.
NO FUCKING RANDOMS IN AN ALLEY
Also, feel like I need to install a nanny cam to remind myself what I did the night before.
Sometimes I get confused on who I really actually know and who's lives I just know everything about via internet. Its a fine line
Randomize
