But regardless, you really stood out last night, you should give me a chance
Sorry but you seem like a potential womanizer
jackpot. dress really slutty so he knows you mean business
You're just telling me nice things because you came in my eye.
i just spent 10 minutes talking to the lady who works at taco bell about my romantic situation.
Two bottles of champagne and half a pizza later, I'm crying myself to tears watching The Nanny. Happy finals week.
There's still flour in my hair. And I don't even want to know what the neighbors think happened infront of my house.
She just looked at him and said "I'm gonna fuck that" and it totally worked.
That number that I thought was that dude's number...was actually my district manager's number. Fuckkkk.
I bought new panties to console myself ... you know, because I am going to lose my ovaries. Well, if I don't die of a heart attack first. But at least when the EMS folks find me, I'll be finely dressed from the waist down.
I'm out of prison. Wanna start a band?
How many nights in 2015 can we have no one get injured, run away crying, or get into a brawl?
There's a super pregnant woman here complaining about back pain. I better not see a live birth in the hair care aisle
Then James put his arms through the window and grabbed him, like he was Robocop. A nerdy, portly Robocop.
Who is this?
Well, I currently have zero fuckboys and my vibrator just broke. A fresh start to May.
No bra. No panties. Makeup from last night. At work right now. I am trash.
Randomize
