I shampoo & condition my pubes, sometimes i wish my face was closer so i could rub against it cause it feels like plush
I'm gonna vom. In the dentist chair. Who makes a dentist appt for July fucking 5th.
Here. I am here. I do not know where here is but it includes condom balloons, a keg castle, and a shaved goat. Do not find me...I am in post blackout heaven.
Only mom could turn an abortion day into a shopping day
there is laundry and salad ALL OVER my car, i need context
We just ended up getting drunk and doing field sobriety tests on each for practice... No one remembers who passed.
There are a bunch of highly educated, advanced in their field, PUSSY ASS BITCHES in this bar
She's cute. And her snoring noises remind me of the incidental music from Jaws.
Girl this is ridiculous I told my self that I would stop having sex in stairwells yet it keeps happening
We played Rock Paper Scissors to see who would have to go down on the other person.
She had a belly button piercing in the shape of a cross. Talk about mixed messages.
We need to get fucked up again and play games like "save the tequila but dodge the knife"
Was just told that I slept on the counter using a loaf of bread as a pillow. Clearly my life is going well.
New drinking game, drink every time Rhianna says "Work" in her new song.
well at least you got laid last nighT. I woke up on a pile of laundry
Randomize
