Men with bald spots should not have mohawks. Just in case you didn't know.
i crushed up some extenze and put them in his protein powder - should make for an interesting gym experience
good thing vaginas are great cup holders
i have a bunch of little boys around me trying to hit on me
dont be selfish, show some boob
you were having sex in the bathroom so i pee'd in your bong water...
how come everytime i call mom shes doing tequila shots
Well, I can't relate. I have no idea what it feels like to withhold sex. Or have self-control in general.
hey. so did i get tied up by a jumprope last night?
When we asked you how you got there you replied in all seriousness, "rode my legs"
when I went into his room, he was sleeping on his stomach, almost as if to silently say, "you're not touching my dick tonight".
You climbed on top of the bar, shotgunned a 25oz fosters and screamed, Steve Irwin was a God amongst men.
I HAD TO PAY A COVER FOR THE FIRST TIME LAST NIGHT. My tits didn't get me in and I was so pissed.
Some girls mom just approved of me banging her on Fb.... For the whole world to see.. I'm officially a god.
I just had drunken sex with an eagle scout behind the boy scouts of america building. what has my life come to?!
i told him the only way i'd fuck him was if he saved me during the zombie apocolypse and took me to a tastefully decorated yet impenetrable hideout.
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