i just met a girl who was sent to the hospital for using her phone as a vibrator and got electrocuted. 4 weeks later she got sent back for shoving a hot dog up there. welcome to the teenage american society
This guy has a retainer. We're golden.
Just threw up in a trash can by the ATM. Then pulled out money for weed.
You just kept taking about baking cornbread and doing your physics. Even drunk assed random you is a better student than me.
it's like heaven, but drunker
So that'd what fifty dollars of chicken at 7/11 looks like. Made it to work on time. Puked twice. BOOM.
I may have just serenaded the sadface couple sitting on a bench outside the dorm by singing Bye Bye Bye.
I kindof just wanted to go downstairs and let his dad know how good his son was at sex
driving home I had the GPS in one hand and puking in the coffee cup
So no more sangria road trips?
She's working this semester. Her dad saw he was listed as 'the atm' on her phone and cut off tuition for three months.
Sex obviously provides more sustenance than oatmeal.
Well shit, I would've slept with him if I knew he was gonna be in the draft.
No, it's ok. He's Greek. To him I'm just a light drinker, not an alcoholic.
I just ate cream cheese straight for my dog
I'm afraid to ask what that means
I told him it was fine and then I keyed his car.
Randomize
