i think ur clone was at the club last week. she slapped some tall girl in the face who tried to steal her spot on the podium. i dont know if ur like her, but she seemd like a ninja badass with superpowers
she carries around a jar of peanut butter. "just in case".
Seriously. He was just sitting there naked in the dark with a boner pissed that I came home late.
did mom hear me barking???
oooooh yeah. good luck explaining that one
sooo high. sooo many dog friends
we left the music on while we were fucking. some kanye west song started playing and he started to cry
Why did the fire extinguisher taste lemony?
She tried to gratify me left handed. Let's just say I've been placed on the 15 day DL.
I just woke up on the living room floor at my parents house. The last thing I remember was making a scene at Buffalo Wild Wings because our waitress "Sent the game into overtime" with a 0-0 score
...and that's why girls with IBS don't paint their nails
He better be a good lay, these underwear cost $50.
Dude I turned down free booze. I think I'm growing as a person.
I honestly don't understand how your night went from singing a touching rendition of Africa to an angry political rant to low key trying to find a frat boy to bang to doing dishes to yoga
she grabed my junk and started making lightsaber noises
I wonder if you could get her in a metal bikini
So I slept with some guy last night and when I woke up in the am couldnt remember his name. I text him n asked "How do you spell your name?" to try n find out and all he replied was "With an A." WTF!?
you were screaming "I don't need a shirt!" repeatedly while in the process of taking it off and flashing the bouncer. we got kicked out. thanks a lot.
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