she is unbelievable! ever pee on a girl?
not while she was awake
my room smells like sperm. sweet.
Your roommate was biting my friend last night. It was weird.
I didnt realize til after I got out of her apartment and into the lobby that we lived in the same building.
Do you think the party boat will still go out if there is a hurricane?
I don't even care that his girlfriend will be there. Us hooking up is a tradition and she will NOT ruin it.
Just talked to Laura, confirming that is my bra. Hope it goes well with the rest of your wall decorations.
About to go get a free burrito for kissing a bald man in public
Also, nothing screams "don't talk to me because I'm unstable" like walking around eating cookie dough out of the package.
My brother slept till 4, bought a sword, got drunk and sharpened said sword. I went to corporate compliance training. Life is not fair.
Omg one side of my Labia is asleep. Has that ever happened to you?
I totally just pulled my thong out of my purse at the grocery store. Oops.
so the casino kicked my ass last night, i'm pretty sure i hit a new level of hungover....just showered with my sunglasses on because the bathroom light is too bright
I literally have a pirate chest of slutty clothing.
Okay everything with a penis is officially dead in my eyes
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