He spelled "beautiful" wrong in his text
You'll put your fingers inside me but you won't be my FB friend?
Driving out to Plano is like driving away from your twenties
we ended up doing shots out of those medicine cups..swine flu finally did something good for me
he mailed me a thank you note for the blowjob.
Then I received a text in French, that roughly translated to "all you'll ever be good for is sex on the Internet"
Nothing says happy baby shower like showing up still kinda drunk from last night with an open tall boy in one hand and fries in the other.
I did cocaine off my boobs last night. Then I wrote two essays and went on a run. Go me
If you don't see me at the bar tomorrow night, I was most likely captured by the communists.
I dare you to find another dealer that delivers bud to your home along with deep fried vegan burritos
Can I just say how funny it is that your "respect" tattoo is right above the bruise from me slapping your ass
have no fear, swaggie olivia is here to bring glorious gifts and horse dick to children
You're the air beneath my wings and the lookout when I pee
I made him fuck me while wearing a Thor helmat from Walmart. Geek sex is the best sex
Definitely didn't just make out with a guy the same height as me just because we wanted to see what it would be like to not have to reach up....
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