Afterwards she curled up in my dog's bed and slept there all night
How mad was your dog?
No, I stopped taking my meds because I like crazy me better
this morning i checked my reflection in the toilet as i was throwing up to make sure i still had my pearl earrings on
Why does he only make me orgasm when I'm about to break up with him?
Best part of failing a semester of college: not having to buy books next semester. I can drink to that
I only know two things that kitchen floors are good for... sex and quesadillas that got dropped. You know, the five second rule
My hungover walk of shame was interrupted by a stranger on a balcony throwing me a beer to shotgun... at 10 a.m....
That was the second worst thing to happen to my asshole.
I felt I lost my designated buddy on a field trip when you wandered off to get high with strangers.
Also, if you don't fuck me soon, I will die. I don't want to die like that.
I dont understand why so many people are content staying in and avoiding alcohol and sex
I think it's time for tequila and I to go our separate ways
However, pretty glad I spent the night puking on my car instead of fucking him. Then I'd REALLY be miserable.
shes rolling around in the floor yelling my vagina hates me
I don't know, all I remember is waking up at 4 in the morning to him going down on me.
Randomize
