we dont do blackfin have a good night :)
Would you feel weird if I asked out ___?
You dont call on our son's bday but you want to know if I'll give you permission to date my best friend?
So...no?`
i was so drunk that i ate a carrot out of her guiena pig's cage and thought it was normal
she had a my little ponys comforter. i left when she went to the bathroom
his mom and i are swapping prescript pills..totally mother in law material.
I hit a bug from across the room with my flip flop boomerang style. That awesome.
did i really just refer to you as "the mid season replacement"
I had a great penis washing session in the sink before I left. Washed off all the bar and green beer
Change of plans I'm coming home and shotgunning all the beer we have.
The moment you ate chicken nuggets out of your purse you were my hero.
Where the hell did i get chicken nuggets from
He's like the unplanned child of drunkenness
Is it socially acceptable to be blind drunk at half five on a Monday afternoon?
Which pub are you in?
I'm so hungover I can't taste anything
Please tell me that I didn't call you to say I was swimming in outter space
My ex boyfriend literally just asked "who needs porn?". This is EXACTLY why I dumped his ass.
Randomize
