I think i peed on brittanys purse
She made me repeat after her: "I take responsibility for what I put in my own mouth."
i have a "get your shit together" dinner with my parents tonight. After that ill be down to party
I looked at you and you stared at me dead in the eyes then sprayed febreze at your crotch and winked.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just a smidgen more estrogen and shed be golden
She's got a legit dose of dude going on
No kidding. All she needs is a cheek full of chewing tobacco and I'd have fucked John wayne.
If I can't pick up a cat lady, I probably need to turn to Internet dating.
If you want me to retract my crazy cat lady comments pictures of yourself dressed as a cat are not the way to do it.
Guess who just got a Christian Beliefs class to seriously discuss the spiritual implications of dolphin rape?
Between the puerto rican elf, the fat marine, the deaf guy and the ex coke head I've got a good preview if the men in this city...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This is the I'm sorry text for running around yelling don't shit on my rainbow, end up in the fetal position crying at 4 am in my car because someone shit on my rainbow
We have a shopping cart in our front lawn. Also Mickey D's breakfast?
Your skill with memes is vaguely frightening
What's the best way to tell a guy he can call me when his impending divorce is finalized?
You told me that you would let her eat cake off of your ass, then fell asleep on the floor
before i went to bed i wrote myself a note that says 'i feel all swirly'
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