You guys sftrill at mcdondalds?!!!!
Yes.
fuckin bring me a cheseburgeria
At a strip club after monster truck rally. You should be here
Sometimes your consistent use of proper punctuation makes me nervous D:
He looked me in the chest and said "I think I was visited by the titty fairy last night"
words of advice: black light parties reveal cum stained clothing.
The only reason anyone found out he threw up is because everyone heard it sizzle the bonfire out.
The bridesmaid just threw up on herself. This is going to be the best wedding ever
I had to smuggle a street sign attached to a 14ft long pole out of my house this morning. The list of reasons for me not to drink just keeps getting longer.
Dude what the fuck...
I don't care if he got kidnapped by a cult one time he is a dick
i’m not very adjusted to having free time. for example, I forgot how much fun it is to masturbate.
On the 3rd day, she mixed sangria and orange juice and saw that it was good.
He sent me a limp picture of his penis with the caption " same ol, same ol' I cant believe these are the type of guys I sleep with
You went over didnt you?
All I remember is dance battling with a man named tom the entire time who kept buying me drinks so id say it was a success
Like either my tits got bigger or I've succumbed to Trumps tiny hand syndrome
I love you even if you are fucked up. If you fall, i'll just get on top of you.
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