They past out watching a re-run of the 1984 presidential debate on cspan
Drunk lesbians having an argument about their realationship isn't as hot as I imagined.....
Judging by the crutches in the living room I take it you two are fine and we aren't going out tonight?
we should drop off a car at the police station before going out tonight so we can drive home in the morning
How do you think the people in my class would react if I ripped all my clothes off and jumped on him right now?
There is a pile of hair outside the apartment next door. At least now I know what all that shouting was about last night.
I hate that you live in a gated community. I feel your guard judges me every time I go to your house at 3 am an leave at 5am
Can we just smoke a few bowls and eat grilled cheese while drunk in our hotdog suits at 9am ?
i hate going to her parties because i always know everyone there which means everyone knows my ex which means i wont get laid
If your night didn't end with writing a witness report for the cops at a shwarma place, your night was probably less interesting than mine.
Well I just took a pregnancy test... So how's your thanksgiving?
Do you feel better now that you've sent me a picture of your dick?
Yep.
WEED BROWNIES! He put weed in my brownie mix! And he got it from YYYYOOOOUUUU!
Look at the bright side mom. After 20 years dad is still capable of surprising you!
Shut up Max.
I'M NOT EVEN STOPPING FOR WINE SO I CAN GET TO THAT DICK QUICKER.
God, I missed his penis.
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