Passed out on a playground for a while before trying to break into the elementary school. Erica thought her captain tasted like cat food, so she poured her bottle into her cat's dish and proceeded to eat it like cereal.
You win. Erica always eats cat food.
I caved and texted him. But it's strictly drug dealing business so it doesn't count.
all of your clothes are in the front law. btw..sprinklers go on in 20 minutes
You dont understand he had a split tongue thats bucket list worthy.
Am I allowed to say that I would really enjoy blowing you again? Or does that fall into the "nothing changes between us" catagory?
It's like that depressing moment when you drop your cocaine in the snow.
I just realized. my grades aren't ready for st patties day...
Mega depressed bro. Had the greatest sex with the hottest girl I've ever seen and in the AM she gave me that look I've given dozens of times. I'm her drunken fat chick fuck
I don't know which part of you thought this was funny but it's fucked up to wake up in that much fluff and now we don't have a couch. Fuck you.
I screamed so bad because I thought he was going for my sandwich forgetting it was in my hand
took over 12 bombs tonight and we still aren't hooking up. Wait how am I functioning
He really only has clothes, like 4 boogie boards, and a bong here.
He left stubble rash on my thighs and cooked me bacon before 9am. I need to lock this down STAT
Still, being medically ordered to stuff things in your vagina is amazing.
RESPOND QUICKLY THIS IS AN EMERGENCY!!! LITERALLY AN 11 INCH DICK!!!!! HELP.
Randomize
