I actually told the people in the movie theatre to give me a cup and I would dip water from the toilet before I paid $4.50 for a bottle of water.
Its like the long john silvers of colleges, I wouldnt even go there to use the bathroom
i was surprised by the severity of his small dick condition
so there is either a lot of blood or a lot of wine in the shower....
She stumbled in with some guy, woke me up, introduced him and said "This is my sister. She's a freshman. She probably hates you."
I have your dog in a headlock. Se wants my mushrooms.
thanks for at least making it out of the pool before you threw up
White people are beatboxing! Save me.
I'm gonna write a song for the kids called "you're systematically killing your mother". In it I will explain that my recent hypertension and increase in smoking is due to them being dicks
I just farted so loud someone came to check on me. Thought something fell in my office.
Probably yeah. I mean maybe one day we can be those friends that hang out naked. Not awkard at all.
And that is why I love you so much. You have the same cold black heart as me.
There is a dude riding on one of those standing wheel things inside forever 21. Calm down.
Oh dear. Sending much love.
Just send a machete.
Can we talk about how i drunkenly changed the timezone on my phone last night and just showed up to work an hour early
Randomize
