Journey is playing on the radio....I think it is a sign I am going to pass my drug test
I just had some guy offer to eat me out on my lunch break... I think single life is getting better everyday
The EMTs said they would give me as many blankets as I wanted if I didn't pee in the ambulance. They even turned on the sirens.
we are sitting in a kindergarden classroom alone chugging beer. look at our lives. look at our choices.
Just did lines off your face, congrats on getting in the magazine bro
I puked on myself in front of a customer. all. over. myself. thanks Saturday nights
Climbing out Mr. Friday night's bathroom window. He thinks I'm puking. Be on state st. with the getaway car and if you could bring me a shirt and some advil that'd be dandy.
So proud. See you in five. I've got coffee.
They're making him take his shirt off cause they think he's the bouncer. We're in his backyard.
she got the mcdonald's logo tattooed on her ass. sober. yesterday at noon.
That's the 3rd time in 6 months I woke up on the hallway floor using a towel as a blanket, no clue how I got there. At least back when I was still drinking I could blame something other than myself for that kind of shit.
You should go to AA meetings and warn people about the dangers of sobriety.
I had wine for breakfast at 6am, that's how visiting my parents went.
Yeah he told me he wanted a serious relationship, but he's posting pictures of his dick on Kik.
When she's hammered the amount of alliteration that comes out of her mouth is amazing.
Two old ladies openly mocked me this morning at drunk breakfast. Is it time to reevaluate my life choices?
He gave his liver a pep talk before the vodka chugging started
Randomize
