I have a pretty basic diameter of my vaginal abyss. I'm sure it won't hurt.
forecast for tonight- shitshow with a chance of tbell
my version of bright and sunny.
Im watching someone hooking up in the library
procrastination at its finest
If her picture on my phone wasn't mostly of her breasts, I'd never pick up the phone when she calls.
In one night, this kid threw a firecracker under a fucking cop car, crashed three seperate parties, and passed out in a tree in our backyard. Do you even know who he is?
I'm wearing your poncho, and only your poncho. I'm not getting pulled over like this.
Lets be real here, you loved it when I was on top. With and without the machete.
The only thing he had going for him was mad fingering skills. the ONLY thing. crayons have a wider circumference.
OH MY GOD IT'S LIKE SHOOTING FISH IN A BARREL, EXCEPT INSTEAD OF FISH THEY ARE FIGHTER PILOTS
When you were bringing him upstairs I told him to bring you on down to pound town. you're welcome.
I want Walter White to make me a bologna sandwich while I'm chained to a support
I wrote an entire paper in under an hour about The Nightmare Before Christmas. I was also high as shit and pretty sure I dedicated half the page to the animation but still.
God is tempting me with everything tonight. Brownies and dick, mostly.
I got all the way to work before I realized there were Trojans in my bra.
Sunburned by dick at the nude beach. Bad. She tried to blow me. But. I. Just. Can't. Saddest day of my life.
Randomize
