saturday- my day is open, my legs are not. you in?
well apparently not.
I dk what to do with this kid he is like legitimately interested in my life.
every time I see Anne Hathaway all I can think is "my cousin fucked a guy who fucked her" and it makes me proud.... so I want to say thank you for being that cousin.
i did the responsible thing and pissed myself...
The cab driver told me he hopes I look up to him as a father figure. Then he asked if I wanted him to take me to the hospital
I was told u were the one who could explain to me why i woke up in the running shower, still in my dress and heels
yea i really dont care about the sex, i just want him to eat my vag. He has to be good at because of his tremors.
Thats gotta be it. Also just found out that the fireworks will fit in the airsoft pistols...we are all gonna die
Fake an illness. Her and her friends are like the female version of guys who wear tapout shirts
I just got into the cab. It smells like weed and the driver looks like someone who may or may not be really talented at playing the saxophone. He also asked me my thoughts on porn when I told him I'm an actor. I might not make it home.
I'm pretty sure I said "this might be the last time I'm in here" but then I took his pants off so that's a mixed message
MY LIFE IS A TRAINWRECK THATS ON FIRE BUT SOMEHOW STILL MOVING, I HAVE THE RIGHT TO SCREAM OUTSIDE AT 2AM
My diet fell off the wagon when I began texting the pizza delivery guy my location on frat row.
What happened lastnight it looks like I had sex with edward scissor hands....my back is so messed up
my bad i broke a mirror over your back
Step 1 was make out with him. so now we just need to come up with step 2.
Randomize
