I mean, he's dancing back and forth between pathetically sad and massively fucking creepy.
Ah I wish I was there to nurse you then clean up your piss-filled water bottles
for some reason the bedside piss missed the water bottle today
i just found an uncooked ramen noodle in my underwear
Just saw an ad for "Liver-aid" how has this not become a life changing drug for millions?
My roommate still talks on AIM. What is this middle school?
She touched you, you're now contaminated for 48 hours. Please watch out for rashes, hives and STDs as she's known to have all three.
His threats seemed pretty legit for a 6 year old
Another Sunday, another 100 chicken nuggets
We legit stopped the the game so that Jamie and I could throw up in the bushes, and then continue to play intramurals... this is what my life is coming to1
he sent me a pic of his dick and balls out with sunglasses over them like a face. i was at dinner.
do you still have it? i kinda want to see.
you ate the make a wish sign. Like actually chewed on it. It was our solution to going outside when the cops were there
I crawled out his bedroom window, forgetting he lives in a split level and there is a 10 foot drop back there. I had to text him to come help me I twisted my ankle.
Hearing them have a conversation is like listening to water buffalo have sex. Awkward and scarring.
Went home with a male stripper who looked like Justin Timberlake.. I started singing cry me a river mid sex. When he sang along I fell in love
The awkward moment when you're leaving the most attractive guy you've ever been with and you're trying not to shit on yourself. Fucking welcome to my life
Randomize
