Dude, she's just using you for your money, and Cavs tickets.
Honestly, what else do I have going for me?
You make a valid point.
I think the boy in my gender studies class cried when 90% of the girls said they had faked an orgasm
He was passed out on the floor holding a beer can, rolled over switched hands and never spilled a drop. We need to practice.
Literally getting boned by my flask right now. I didn't really think about this whole sneaking past security in a skin tight dress.
omg he fucking fingered me this morning. and i was just like this is the most awkward alarm clock ive ever had
hungover subway ride filled with german tourists and a mariachi band. too early. too fuckin early
I told him we couldn't hang out because I had strep, he said he's had it once so he couldn't get it again. The sex isn't worth this level of stupidity
I mean, I gave him a hand job on the Pearl Harbor tour bus; I don't know what the fuck else he wants out of this "relationship"
Also was told that I was her "third favourite booty call" - I'm taking this a good thing right?
It's a podium place so yeah...
I need to find out this kids work schedule. I need mustache rides on my lunchbreaks.
Every single person in NY is either baking, drinking, or photographing their cat. Reporting live from Instagram.
i don't knpow whats goin on i think theyre sacrificeing me to th tequila gods
Sorry I didn't answer your call last night, I was peeing on the driveway.
if you come you're not allowed to wear pants. if you arrive wearing pants you won't be wearing them long.
That's a really terrible idea.
Awesome I'm gonna do it then, thanks for the input
Randomize
