Wow, this guy is harder to get rid of than gum in pubic hair
somehow you got everyone naked by playing strip rock paper scissors.
My doc was like ur only supposed to have 6 sexual partners..thats just one semester at college
is the shake weight an appropriate valentine's day present?
Go to petsmart and tell me if the dog trainer is the guy I slept with friday. Thanks.
yeah people on the adjacent balcony, Im naked drinking outside in 0 degree weather at 1pm. got a problem?
I need to have some sort of hot sex experience in a mask.
I can affiliate each flavor of Copenhagen to a different one night stand. I really love Texas.
Dude, on the way home the cab driver asked why you didn't bring a guy home and referred to you as "one night stand girl"
In order to see him, he made me facetime with his penis, which he had drawn a smile face on. Getting laid shouldn't be this difficult.
He sent me a snapchat of himself growing a double chin. I think we're past the stage where there's any risk of us sleeping together. Ever.
I wouldn't be too worried. He's been known to chase a chubby before.
THAT IS NOT HOW YOU TALK TO YOUR SISTER
Stalker pic that shit
He left, I think he got uncomfortable when I started singing 'oompah oompah doodley do, I have a special riddle for you'
Man i fell asleep on a random persons porch on the way home and woke up to the family banging on the windows trying to wake me up
We shared a dick. We're practically sisters!
Randomize
