Tell your broad to take a big shot of 'chill the fuck out' and put it on my tab.
When I woke up his cat was sleeping on my face and i had scratch marks on my neck. not happy.
only room for one pussy in that bed.
Grandma was not a fan of the beer-can ornaments. Not "traditional".
next time a party gets busted lets get a group photo first.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just remembered getting lost in a "shortcut" through yards and GPSing my way home last night
Fuck him for salsa, please. I heard its a good recipe.
Realistically anyone can come I don't care it's Boston what do I own boston? No. I just don't want people who are gonna give me "why are you doing that" kinda look when I take birthday shots out of my birthday babe shot glass necklace.
I never thought I would be saying these words but...when did David Spade get hot?
He said did you just interrupt me midsentence to admire another man's penis?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I gave him the white girl "you spilled my psl look" and walked away
I don't know when he had the time to do it but he dug a hole in our basement like the shawshank redemption
Why were u walkin around mc with a toilet bowl lid handcuffed to u and carrying a stuffed Teddy bear last night?
You're just upset because I have cupcakes and boobs and you don't.
So do I get points for screwing my recently single ex boyfriend and then telling him to go fight for his ex back?
I got the shit slapped outta me last night but the pain in my jaw doesn’t even compare to the hangover I have.
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