come outside for a special surprise it involves huge boobs
I just tried to put my feet in my slippers and found cans of beer in them. Christmas in fucking july.
There's a Cowboys game and a Rangers game on at the same time...talk about Sophie's choice
New years is officially the only time its okay to drunk dial your parents.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
either way he was missing a nipple.
STOP fucking him and come play in the snow with us!
I kind of want you to get arrested just so I could frame an avatar mugshot.
she's using the space heater to try to heat up a pop-tart...
my tonsil wound opened up during the kegstand but i stopped it with a popsicle
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Turned on my GPS and all that it said in the search bar was "beer,"
Attention ladies coming to the party tonight! Tonight will be another chance to win the 5 bucks for getting my cousin hard. Bring your a-game, no one has been able to overcome the whiskey dick yet. Good luck.
Nope. If I'm going to drive an hour to fuck a teacher, it will NOT be missionary thats for damn sure.
I either just got free sex or a nice jail sentence. Text me in 10 to verify.
hey, being drunk and dumb is my thing. Don't take that away from me.
Just got home, my brothers stoned and he got a high score on COD.. He just asked me if I wanted to have a celebrational yogurt with him. Wtf?