i love my job...i have craft hour at my desk w twizzlers
can u grab me a application
oh btw spread eagle is not an appropriate phrase to use in a scientific presentation. learned that the hard way
You were scared that your teeth were shrinking so you stuck your fist in your mouth. then you were convinced your hand was growing cuz it got stuck so yu started crying
Dude I totally just watched a girl put a tampon soaked in vodka up her vag
I need new friends
I've developed breathing exercises to keep myself from puking..
Just woke up bloody and clutching a rear view mirror I'm pretty sure is from my car. For those of you keeping score at home this is why I stopped drinking four loko.
I Know I'm the drunk girl in the trunk right now, BUT PLEASE LISTEN TO ME!
Thanks i'm proud of you and I'm proud of beer and vodka for making me drunk
Just got into a fight with a trashcan, today is obviously not going to be my day.
Son of a bitch took my liquid eyeliner
I feel like you can't break up with someone on 420. It's against stoner code
Just found out that my name comes from part of my mom's old stripper name.
We need to get walkie talkies for when we're drunk so if we are at different parties or lost we can talk
My feet surprised me
She told me the next morning I stared at her tits for like 15 minutes with binoculars from only a few seats away.
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