Bc you can definitely buy condoms if ur a 14 year old girl
fun fact: cucumber in vinegar with pepper = best ever high snack
tod's in jail
he was afraid of holiday checkpoints so we let him ride my mom's tandem bike home. by himself. at 4 am.
Yah man, that place is surreal
Man, I'm from Tennessee. What the fuck is surreal?
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The is a pregnant woman in this Chipolte wearing a shirt that simply says ‘OOPS!’ across the tummy.
That baby is bound to be under-loved.
dude i just figured out that the tostitos sign is two people eating chips and salsa. being high totally pays off sometimes
so i had a dream that andrew cuomo ate me out. guess who i'm voting for?
if you want blown tonight you're gonna have to take me up on that offer now. in less then 45 minutes you're gonna be blacked out and i'm not doing something i'm not getting credit for in the morning.
we weren't quite sure what was on that mirror, so we snorted it and hoped for the best
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3 things. 1) we need alcohol 2) we need alcohol 3) we need tortilla chips. Let's make a plan. Bro shakes and salsa.
Trumps. I've been wiping my ass with fast food napkins for 3 days.
He took getting"shit in your neighbors hot tub drunk" way to literally
I could tell you were slightly drunk by the time you started having a conversation with my tiki torch
Did you mean to say flashlight? Or did your grandpa really give you a fleshlight for your bday?
Only you would make Mario Party a contact sport.
And you owe me a new pair of switch controllers.
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