i just had a dream that i could control how black Will Smith was with a remote.i need to stop sleeping with the TV on
my sisters under your porch take her home
it's already thursday and i haven't gotten drunk yet...something's not right.
I just remember getting him back by licking the window on his truck.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
note to self: an IV pole is no substitute for a stripper pole. Written it on my ankle cast.
There's going to be a pool, lightsabers and alcohol. What could go wrong?!
Could have had sex with an ex NFL kicker last night.
That would've been embarrassing.
No offense, I mean I'm sure you rocked my world and all but I don't remember.
You can't just beat off while driving someone else's car. Thats a rule
Thats your rule and this car is nice
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He literally named all the parts of the vagina as he fingered me. No more pre-med virgins.
I just heard myself say the sentence "I'm gonna go to the bank then take a nap". 8 year old me just slapped my present self through the space-time continuum for being an old fuck.
I've got 3 hot dudes surrounding me. It's the Bermudick Triangle.
He's got a british accent, a tounge ring, and he's wearing an eye patch... Of corse I'm fucking him
i opened the door and you were passed out on my doorstep wearing ugly shorts and cuddling a pinnapple, i dont know what happened to you.
What should I list for life skills
How about home wrecking? You’re excellent at that
Hmm...that is a life skill in Southern California
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