do you know why i have a volvo grill taped to the back of my car?
sooo my mom just yelled up the stairs " you left your bowl down by the computer"....aaand for a second I forgot cereal bowls still existed
I noticed when you had too much when you were yelling "HOE-HAVE-A-SEAT" to his cat.
I'm pretty sure we put the facepaint on during whippets
Pre warning. Your not gonna sleep tonight cuz I'm staying with your roommate. Thanks for breaking up with me.
My mind hurts. I feel like I drank sand yesterday.
my tonsil wound opened up during the kegstand but i stopped it with a popsicle
he is like the poster child for std's. god i hope he meets a girl with teeth in her vag. that would serve him right
25 likes of a picture on Instagram of my butthole. beat that.
10/10 dentists agree that he is one bangable mother fucker. hint: i am all of these dentists.
Maybe not Elvis quality pharmaceuticals...But some good stuff
All I remember is the bartender saying your sucking them down and waking up on the floor in my underwear
As a friend tho, you have the biggest dick I've ever seen
You gotta come over now. He is eating cupcakes while they are still in the foil.
I’m honestly just flattered that you think I could make PornHub’s Top 10.
Randomize
