So the bouncer told me I could leave the easy way or the hard way. I told him I was going to make him earn his 10 bucks that hour.
Apparently you chose the latter.
This smoking ban is really fucking with my ability to fart in public
Only your vagina holds the key to what happened last night.
You tried telling the RA that girl you brought home was your mom...
you yelled "who's job is it to keep me from breaking shit" and then immediately ripped off the molding as you fell down the stairs.
I'm a little nervous about this St. Patty's Day party. Seriously, we're still finding stuff from the Halloween party.
going to a night class in lingerie so i can quickly go to his house after.
We got the idea to smoke under his bed because, and I quote, "it'd be just like going camping"
At what point in my life did a night that has strippers, belly dancers, tequila and a midget become "average"?
That idiot. I'll see him on campus and he'll try and touch me like we're friends or some shit. 1.you're ugly 2. You dropped the blunt in the pool
my make-up looks really good tonight. I swear it had nothing to do with me finishing all of your strawberry vodka.
I just want to have sex and eat dumplings. Is that so much to ask?
My name will be tattooed on his ass by sunday.
Crust to egg proportion prescribes to a pedantic form of quiche. It's like saying breakfast pizza isn't pizza at all.
random boy in my bed. last night wasnt a dream. fuck.
Randomize
