He wanted me to blow him while he was playing guitar hero. there will not be a second date
my mom just texted me to let me know that Hooters is hiring
i wish my mom had big dreams like that for me
I feel like today should be a " im going to have sex with you cause its raining and theres nothing else to do" kinda day
And fyi howling is not an acceptable form of communication.
Is it malicious or apart of the healing process if I wipe my ass with his toothbrush?
What happened with the girl wasn't a gay thing. It was just a mutual respect and want for sex. The guys just weren't there.
Call it what you want. You fucked a girl.
I have chafed skin from the handy she gave me. I told her that and she said return the favor when it heals. I'm in love.
That's a lot of people she's fucked in one picture.
I will forever remember this as The Great Jalepeno Cock Burn of 2014.
All I'm sayin is that I don't want to raise anything. Or deal with anything. Or having anything come out of my vagina. I mean, I don't think that's asking too much.
I've needed to start drinking protein shakes to keep up with her. It's like my dick just started doing crossfit.
This bowl is so big, I just said out loud, "I'm going to die here" as I blew smoke out the cat door. Merry fucking Christmas.
was I atleast graceful when I feel down that flight of stairs and broke my hand?
I'm keeping both. The way I see it, boyfriends come and go, but a good dick is forever.
We're in an alley with a psychic wizard, shes reading our palms
Randomize
