If it makes you feel better, you're better at taking it in than ass than she is...
Well...yeah actually, that does make me feel better
watching E! true Hollywood story: curse of the lottery.. i'd probably spend all my money on blow and airplanes too..
this text is just filler to avoid a lull in the conversation
On a scale of 1 to 10 how hot is the girl you're about to fuck?
Strong 6
That's an oxymoron.
no where in the syllabus does it say "no alcoholic beverages allowed".
oh yeah I know that guy. he's legit. slept in my closet a few times
Well, McDonalds 'escorted' me out after I passed out mid-order
The panties match.
I'll be right there.
i literally paused in the middle of it, turned on my light, pointed to the picture netxt to my bed and go "you hooked up with my roommate too!!! AWWW!" he was so weirded out. i don't think he understands the relationship we have..we share..
I fell asleep with my vibrator still in me. I am the Queen of Sad Masturbation.
my life is about to be the like the hunger games except with penises. and im going to win.
Found a girl that was gonna make out with 25 people for her 25th birthday. I was like #12. Made top half!
wearing the bible to the ABC party, thought you'd appreciate that.
I've counted 3,503 loops of fabric on my carpet so far. FUCK YOU ACID!!!
Where the fuck do you get consience sedatives from?
Randomize
