Somerville?? What the hell are you going to do there?
Watch a movie and have sloppy make outs OBVI. 45 Harris St. in case I die.
are u sure the monkey wasnt drunk too
you dont want to live with me, im always naked, a chronic masturbator, a bit of a voyeur and will likely touch you while you sleep. ps- i can pick locks
I just googled "whats above a trillion", thats how busy I am at work.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I want to jerk off but my dog won't leave me alone. It's the most depressing cock block ever.
Just saw a man being put through a dui test on the side of the road... it was noon and he was on a bicycle. God bless texas.
We met on a dual walk of shame. It has to be love, we can't let that go to waste. I want to tell our children that story.
I keep forgetting that I only have two nostrils.
Every time you started making out for him we all cheered for you... that's what sorority sisters do - they cheer you on when you make bad life decisions at the bar.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
IT'S LINGERIE PURCHASED FROM A FLEA MARKET, THE ONLY THING IT'S GOING TO BE POSITIVE FOR IS A TEST FOR HIV
You know what's fun. When your getting a new mattress and you forget you put your vibrator under your old mattress and the moving guy finds it
There no better feeling of self control than stopping yourself before telling your girlfriend she gives head just like her sister.
She said pants are for pussies while spooning peanut butter onto her frosted flakes with a serving spoon. She's not even high yet.
Because 9 pm Thursday you drink a loco cause you just wanna get drunk and have a good time with your friends. Then you wake up on Tuesday and you've had 17 locos and you're pregnant, lying on the side of the road, 3 states over. THAT'S why we don't have only locos parties.
He was standing in the living room wearing a Donald Trump wig and looking very disappointed
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