He ripped my extensions out during sex, not noticing until this morning when he saw them on the floor. I told him they werent mine and he went and threw them in his sister's room.
The only reason I kept his number in my phone for so long is so that hed pay for my abortion.
Theres a baby at this concert double fisting pacifiers. shes gunna do great in college.
I'm eating my dinosaur chicken nuggets in the order they would die in the food chain.
he nicknamed his dick "too big to fail"
I just realized last night I drunk-bought a flight to Florida for this weekend...kinda torn between the price and the potential of awesomeness
He was eating her out on the elevator. What a good man.
I see you've set aside this special time to humiliate yourself in public.
Watching frozen planet. There's a beach master sea lion with about 50 sea lion bitches fighting another sea lion for said bitches. It's a bloody battle. Dude. You have over 50. Share.
Doing lines off a plate that says, "things go better with coke."
Last thing I remember clearly was, "ok, but if we're are gonna get drunk before class, there's no half-doing this"
I just heard a 350 lb guy with a stutter describe getting blood in his eye as he was shanking his cellmate and, more generally, how to survive as a white guy in jail.\n\nYou should really consider going to some AA meetings
I'm in too deep with Breaking Bad. I realized I've altered my Tinder likes to people that either look like Jesse or work in a school's Science department.
I kind of just assumed by how he whisked eggs that he would be bad in bed.
I've never been so turned off by an omelet.
Now i know i wasnt that drunk... So why are there texts of me volunteering for a nude photo shoot for an art major student?
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