He better hope I dont die soon. Because I would haunt his bitch ass and cock block 24/7
I just recorded courtney puking and set it as my ringtone.
I bought the love spell lotion from victoria secret so it atleast smells like a girl is present while I'm masturbating
I don't think he understands what an important role his penis plays in my level of self esteem
just run out there and shit all over the driveway when he comes.. and then point at him
I'm gonna go drown myself in the shower. Make sure to cover me up before the paramedics arrive. I'm too fat to be seen naked right now.
bad sex. bad bad bad. it was like trying to pick up an overcooked noodle with an empty pringles can. why do these guys always seem to find me?
i showed up sober to class for the first time. my prof said that i was "off my game today". i love philosophy
Your the only person to come back from spring break with a non std related infection
I was about to google "rabies and sexual activity." Then I realized I was at work.
I have commenced my lesbian college experimentation. Wish me luck
Quick I need a sexy way to say "suck your balls"
I peed outside 4 times after the bar, safe to say I had great night
So I just got motorboated by my grandma…
Hammered...8am...why is there chickens in the living room?
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