I'm a gentlemen, chivalry is what i do, i'll open the door, pull out your chair, buy your drinks, i'll even go down first, but when it comes to mario kart, i draw the line. I'm sorry but i just can't let you beat me at mario kart
Everytime I cough, my tampon falls out a little bit. Does this mean I'm loose?
I've decided the third guy that I slept with is who I lost my virginity to...
Should I be curious about Jeffrey randomly sending me a picture of him holding a crab, or just move on with my life?
Setting up an obstacle course with ladders, hurdles, and a spring board to the pool. you down for drunk races through it later?
The van in front of me contains people having SEX. I am in full view of a SEX VAN.
Well my friend Jon slept on the couch and I slept next to my cooked lean pocket on the carpet
Got head at the top of a water slide over-looking the valley while wearing a sombrero and drinking a corona. Epic.
He fucked me so hard my nail polish actually chipped. I'm keeping him.
You had sex with a guy who has a purple beard last night. No Molly for a while, ok?
Uhhh...I just found your 10 dollar bill in my bra. I owe you 10 dollars.
The Lion King Is on YouTube
Until 2 minutes ago I actually had a chance to pass my midterms... thanks alot
we've talked on the toilet we're linked now
Clothing is a burden necessitated by propriety.
What's that? Is there a bottle of Jack calling me? I think so...
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