i just made out with my boyfriends father...and so did jess
I think you should know he took my pants (buttons and zippers included) and my thong off with his mouth alone. I found my husband
She told you broke her computer after the little square in tetris wouldn't rotate for you...
That's like rubbing a penis in my face and not giving it to me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My dealer threw in a "freestyle rap" today with my purchase. I dont know if I can handle this relationship.
I'm crying, drinking alone and applying for jobs tonight. I figure the alcohol will lower my job standards.
ive penciled you in for a day of excessive drinking
We're gonna have screwdrivers in a cab at 4am?
Is that weird?
No later than 4:00 ok - I'm tying my viagra high into a superbowl halftime showstopper. Ya, you might wanna look away for that
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This is the I'm sorry text for running around yelling don't shit on my rainbow, end up in the fetal position crying at 4 am in my car because someone shit on my rainbow
FRIENDS DON'T LET FRIENDS WASTE THE LAST ADDERALL.
Is there a word in the English dictionary for impressed, yet disgusted?
I think the word you're looking for is flabbergasted.
Why does my therapist keep calling when I jerk off?
TURNS OUT they were both cheating. Like the Gift of the Magi except for shitty people
I would cock slap so many things if I had a cock.
Randomize