I just used my 2 drink stirrers as chopsticks to get a lime out of my drink. I really am Asian.
I would give my right arm to go back to college. Or maybe not. Would be kinda hard to pick up guys with one arm. Then again, knowin what I do now...I could take any freshman bithc with only one arm.
i get tired of guys telling me there married or they have a girlfriend. they act like it concerns or matters to me
After you pregamed and were plastered you saw the cop was parked illegally so you gave him a citizens arrest
My fight-or-flight response is really more fight-or-fuck
It's gotten to the point where even copying off yahoo answers is still way too much work.
she is medically diagnosed as a nympho. she has the paper to prove it. hell. fucking. yeah.
We couldn't get our shit together to go to the bar, so we're getting drunk and facebook stalking all the girls who have gotten fat since high school. Any names you wanna throw out?
He was the only guy who ever made me cry..
Who, the park ranger who made you dump out your beer on the beach?
It was all going fine until I had to chug that strawberita bud light. That really ended badly.
It made me want to take you home, put you in footie pajamas and feed you spaghettios
Hey, dude, is Kevin still passed out on your porch?
Yeah. I'm gonna go leave a pitcher of bloody mary next to him in case he's still alive.
I literally just skipped to the fridge when I realized we had enough vodka left to get day drunk
What, That's like a total 7 inches of cock and 6 are from Joe. Don't be mad at me because you had the lamest orgy ever.
I have been adopted by a clan of drunken skinny dipping tourists.
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