Id pretty much put it in anything at this point. Jello. Dogs. 12 year old boys
I just told her she was a heartbeat above a blowup doll.
So is chris hansen cool in person? Or is it just awkward while you wait for the cops?
I haven't been able to trust a girl since spanks came out
When you started Hi-fiving people I knew u were fucking gone. You slapped some dude on the shoulder when he wouldn't hi-five you and he asked if he even knew you
He gave them shots of purell and called it "acid rain" jello shots. They took them.
I hate freshman.
I can't believe you broke a Paula dean wooden spoon over my ass
I just realized my life is a timeline of drunken injuries.
I don't know where I am and I feel like a hippo shat in my mouth. This sofa is comfy though.
I've got to admit, I'm a little hesitant about giving him road head. I've seen how he drives and I've seen how he acts when I give him head. A small part of me is saying this is going to end badly.
Stop thinking your God dude. You passed out. God doesn't pass out...
Vaguely remember? You pushed George and two other fellas out the way to hug me, screamed gandalf before chugging your beer and smashing the bottle on the floor. I lolled.
One singular head for man, one giant climax for mankind
Just realized that I bailed on you guys yesterday just so I could get wendy's. it was worth it but still, sorry
Umm I might be late. Also I am may or may not have mayonnaise on my ass
Randomize
