okay pat passed out under dana's car
thanks for house sitting, cat must be hiding again... everything go ok?
... about that ...
That girl really should ne nicer to her vagina. It's not a playground.
Apparently hers is a theme park.
see you put your penis in her and it's like an ignition key to start the crazy
vodka and carrot juice, if im gonna drink i at least got my 8 servings of vegetable
hey, i'm all for honesty but let's not get carried away
Is it acceptable I'm laying in bed drinking airplane bottles?
In our world? Yes, but I'm disappointed yoiu are wasting airplane bottles. Save them for sneaky occasions
How are ur friends?
One is peeing in the grass and the other is asleep under the stairs. Fuck them I'm sleeping in the car
She just tricked me into telling her the balance of my 401k... She's like a gold digging jedi mind trick ninja
Hey start looking around for a low rider Subaru. Well get a loan. It will be capital for our first music video.
I couldn't fall back asleep it was too bright so I just took my sports bra off and put it over my eyes
For the first time in my 26 years of life, I'm washing jizz out of my ponytail.... High five yourself later.
Nautical themed porn is also great bc someone usually wears a captains hat
I NEED TO TAKE A FUCKING BREAK. MY VAGINA IS SMOKING.
She's gonna be mad if she finds out you put weed in her house warming cookies
Randomize
