Tall, dark & handsome can suck my short, pale & awkward dick.
do you want me to make hamburgers?
i'm vegan
i'll put lettuce on them
you know you were refereeing rock paper scissors for who got to make out with your sister right?
God dammit, you have a cape and I don't even have a fucking jacket.
if your not going to answer your phone this is just going to be an embarrassment tomorrow
Traveling before 21 and traveling after 21 are two different things. There's a whole nother world of red white and blue weird out there
The fact that I'm going to be living with you is starting to make me worry about my heatlh.
Ya that ship has sailed dude
I'd like to believe that in some alternate universe we are living this wonderful lesbian life together..
A guy claiming to be the Japanese counterpart to the White Power Ranger is trying to take me home....
Ugh. The fucking vaginal recession is so real right now.
Who says no to sex and donuts?!
I got my period on eclipse day. I'm officially in line with the moon.
Don't mind me, I'm just walking 2 miles across campus with no jacket, covered in highlighter, and carrying a hair extension. Gotta love miami!
I think I may have just hit a new slutty low! ..... Just purchased the Costco pack of condoms... $9.99/48 pack = amazing deal! The judgement when I bust out the value pack = priceless!!!
You know he wants it bad when he starts going door to door for condoms.
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