she said she missed her period, but is going to six flags... think im safe?
I wish they had a home preganacy test, but for STDs
dude your girlfriend loves you alot..she yelled your name lastnight in bed
i think i should save myself the $200 for a prom dress. i mean why bother. its just going to be covered in vodka/jizz/and puke by the end of the night.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
well the blowjob for study guide exchange was a success.
my drunken justification for peeing in her closet was that her shoes were ugly
You have all been randomly chosen to participate in a new game called: how high was I? If you have any information about this or about where my clothing items went give me a shout. Thanks an good luck.
She thinks I should try and corrupt him and take his virginity. While I do love virgins, I'm a little too lazy to put in the corruption effort right now. That's a summer kinda job.
I can't even look at my running shoes. I swear I drank more in the last 2 days than the last 6 months combined
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I can't live in this building much longer. People are starting to figure out that it's me making the weird sex noises.
I have a cat, a bottle of wine, and a Brazilian man. I need to catch you up on my life
Just fucked a MILF from Alaska. I love traveling.
Some nice lady just gave me a beer out of her purse. I love youth hockey
Whatever. I'll take my new fine ass dick sucking nails elsewhere.
Did I honestly think it was a good idea to wear my pink robe out in public at 2 in the morning ?
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