he saw my "i like bacon" magnet on the fridge and i told him how much i love meat, then we started making out
what a beautiful fairy tale
once the tequila comes in everyone elses feelings go out the window.
I had forgotten what it was like to go to all four classes. It's exhausting.
Lesbian chick is doing her presentation on the time she woke up on the dockside still drunk at 7 am. This is why I show up to chinese class.
So basically he tried to get out of the car and crawl on the highway with the broken leg because he didn't want to go to the hospital. It was not a good time...then we got pizza though.
So help me Jesus we're never drinking together again. But weekends don't count. Amen.
The cab driver gave me a church card yesterday and said I should reconnect with god.
Then he gave me 2 tickets to a movie he's going to be in
My heart feels like a grape in a barrel about to be crushed into wine
I accidentally sent him a snapchat of my boobs and now we're going on a date tomorrow... Could be worse.
Ted is on HBO in 20 minutes...not sure if this or the drunken dance party I had at the bar to a N*SYNC Christmas song 20 minutes ago is the highlight of my week so far.
i just woke with half a bagel saran wrapped to my phone and a cookie in an envelope beside my head...
DIBS ON THE NEW GUY.
NO. NO FUCKING YOUR COWORKERS
What's goes good with Everclear?
Pepto-Bismol and a sandwich.
Damn. Looks like nobody I know is doing anything interesting. Guess it's another slut-it-up-with-strangers sort of night.
In other news, I’ve officially fucked a grandpa.
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