I'm at this poker game and this kid to my left is bragging about all the chicks he hits including a "playboy model" when all of a sudden this 22 guy looks him in the eye and says "ever fuck a 70 woman. The things they can and are willing to do" Next think the whole table is quiet for an hour. That guys my hero...
you should probably quit with the whole "no homo" thing, especially when you are drunk, "mo homo"gives the wrong impression.
A 20 minute car ride back to your car with the girl u had drunk anal with is the most uncomfortable thing ever.
I'm gonna laugh so hard when we're both married with families
That statement alone makes me laugh so hard.
It's going to be nice going to the airport without drugs taped to my balls like last year.
Sophomore year, I fucked on your desk chair. I'm sorry. I love you.
The yard is growling at me WHAT DID U GIVE ME?
Currently getting "blaow" buzzed into my pubes. How's your thursday?
No, that was the night I helicoptered my dick to oncoming traffic. Im talking about the night I ran naked down the street.
Haha yeah my head's fine..sorry about the dent in your fridge.
and I think you ate the old crusty spaghetti on the counter when we came home last night judging by the carnage
I woke up and they were watching power rangers in japanese so I just found my bra and left
We couldn't find the paddle I had gotten so he just spanked with my tennis raquet
Ok: all ex-gfs except you from the last 5 years have or are about to have a baby...be on the lookout...
Yeah but if you conceived a child on a park slide that would be pretty awesome
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