Got a little crazy huh? Happy st pattys day. None of you have any idea where my credit card would be do you? How do i always lose
So i had sex for a couple seconds last night
If I've learned one thing today? Blow jobs get you to state championships.
Alright. Who did it? Who's bangin' the ump?
everyone knows that carl winslow was the sexiest man in die hard.
just bought 2000 rhinestones and a heart shaped stencil at Micheals...I think the cashier knows i'm Vajazzling
he started drinking at 9am with grey goose and pancakes. He IS my hero.
To say the least, now you know you're a proper lady, passing a field sobriety test in heels...
Osama's death just kick started our Cinco de mayo celebration. Margaritas for anyone wearing red white and blue!
Shot gunning beers for breakfast. You better be ready for today.
Honestly, I've had enough of his asshole to last me the new year.
Please tell me you're talking about his personality.
I had this image of some guy in a taco truck down by the IMA accosting you for a peep show.
What does it say about my expectations if I'm pounding three beers the hour before a date?
Because 9 pm Thursday you drink a loco cause you just wanna get drunk and have a good time with your friends. Then you wake up on Tuesday and you've had 17 locos and you're pregnant, lying on the side of the road, 3 states over. THAT'S why we don't have only locos parties.
I mean metaphorically speaking, maybe we've all fucked on top of a frat house at some point in our lives
My one night stand from last night is currently mowing my lawn for me.
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