everyone knows that carl winslow was the sexiest man in die hard.
there are too many children here to make this hangover-friendly
He deserves to hear about your Vagina Shrooms
She gave me head while using a laptop on my stomach to go online. I've never seen a better feat of multitasking.
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DUDE EDDIE MURPHY JUST DID A BODY SHOT OFF A HOOKER. IM NEVER COMING HOME
He puked in the voicemail. That's a true friend right there.
the chips you spilled whiskey on is not the same thing as Irish breakfast potatoes
Unless your apartment has 3 am pancakes Im not coming over.
I've reached the gravitational age where it's very hard to get my face and my boobs in the same shot without some kind of yoga involved .
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No just a slight sexual miscommunication which led to a little (lot) vomiting by one party and a bruised sternum on the other party involved.
I can't even make a guess how that goes.
How does one take the "you're the best sex I've ever had but I'm marrying someone that's sub-par in the sack" mind fuck?
I pity the fool.
Thanks Mr T.
hey man , the girl you brought home last night is in the kitchen puking in the sink and asking if she can have more shots of Whiskey....think i should give her a shot glass or send her home....
Donated a pint of blood at 6 and pub crawl started at 7. Thank your lucky stars I'm still alive today.
If I get really high and watch Beauty and The Beast on our Netflx account, will you judge me?
Only if you start before I get home!
I just tried to dye my pubic hair teal for her
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