Texts From Last Night

• Favorite

  (415): View more from California

  Woke up this morning to a janitor hitting me in the head with his bucket in the hallway of my building. An alumni was next to me because we locked ourselves out of my room and couldn't figure out where my roommates were.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (415): Woke up this morning to a janitor hitting me in the head with his bucket in the hallway of my building. An alumni was next to me because we locked ourselves out of my room and couldn't figure out where my roommates were. http://tfl.nu/n6mv
  Replies (1) Good night (1059) Bad night (460)
• Favorite

  (315): View more from New York

  Fuck Jersey, the house im in is so baller but this state just cannot win.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (315): Fuck Jersey, the house im in is so baller but this state just cannot win. http://tfl.nu/wty0
  Replies (66) Good night (2005) Bad night (761)
• Favorite

  (201): View more from New Jersey

  just by requesting 'I think we're alone now', not only did you achieve emptying the bar, but you also rubbed it in the owners face.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (201): just by requesting 'I think we're alone now', not only did you achieve emptying the bar, but you also rubbed it in the owners face. http://tfl.nu/tz6f
  Replies (7) Good night (2595) Bad night (486)
• Favorite

  (775): View more from Nevada

  god, a vagina is an amazing trump card

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (775): god, a vagina is an amazing trump card http://tfl.nu/iuci
  Replies (6) Good night (3546) Bad night (462)
• Favorite

  (617): View more from Massachusetts

  Day 3 of Lent and I would already kill a puppy if God would give me permission to masturbate

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (617): Day 3 of Lent and I would already kill a puppy if God would give me permission to masturbate http://tfl.nu/lx6z
  Replies (61) Good night (1052) Bad night (5568)
• Favorite

  (509): View more from Washington

  I'm tempted to see how fat I can get before he leaves me. It's obvious we're playing a game of chicken here.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (509): I'm tempted to see how fat I can get before he leaves me. It's obvious we're playing a game of chicken here. http://tfl.nu/f99e
  Replies (19) Good night (1431) Bad night (5314)
• Favorite

  (319): View more from Iowa

  For some reason 'start yourself on fire drunk' isn't nearly as funny after last 4th of july..

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (319): For some reason 'start yourself on fire drunk' isn't nearly as funny after last 4th of july.. http://tfl.nu/uo05
  Replies (3) Good night (1073) Bad night (2633)
• Favorite

  (330): View more from Ohio

  Well, let's be honest here. You're dealing with gay guys... EVERYTHING has an emotional attachment.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (330): Well, let's be honest here. You're dealing with gay guys... EVERYTHING has an emotional attachment. http://tfl.nu/dli5
  Replies (11) Good night (1266) Bad night (2144)
• Favorite

  (516): View more from New York

  That's so unfortunate for him bc you can always find another penis, but he's stuck with it

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (516): That's so unfortunate for him bc you can always find another penis, but he's stuck with it http://tfl.nu/ocmo
  Replies (13) Good night (1600) Bad night (3129)
• Favorite

  (303): View more from Colorado

  You guys crashed sarahs vespa into a snowbank and its still there. not cool.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (303): You guys crashed sarahs vespa into a snowbank and its still there. not cool. http://tfl.nu/uc3l
  Replies (12) Good night (1950) Bad night (1469)
• Favorite

  (812): View more from Indiana

  This is going to be the summer remembered forever as the giant 3 month long mushroom trip.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (812): This is going to be the summer remembered forever as the giant 3 month long mushroom trip. http://tfl.nu/lk0s
  Replies (8) Good night (1842) Bad night (700)
• Favorite

  (303): View more from Colorado

  Someone else needs to become the bad example in our group

  (1-303): View more from Colorado

  But you wear shame so well

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (303): Someone else needs to become the bad example in our group (1-303): But you wear shame so well http://tfl.nu/l3oh
  Replies (4) Good night (2747) Bad night (605)
• Favorite

  (810): View more from Michigan

  He told me he wants to eat me out all day while I lay in bed watching football. Seems like a solid foundation for a relationship to me.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (810): He told me he wants to eat me out all day while I lay in bed watching football. Seems like a solid foundation for a relationship to me. http://tfl.nu/paz8
  Replies (24) Good night (3020) Bad night (609)
• Favorite

  (405): View more from Oklahoma

  there is vomit in the pocket of my dress coat. i remember thinking "this is a weird place to puke" at some point in the evening, but i dont understand how i did this.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (405): there is vomit in the pocket of my dress coat. i remember thinking "this is a weird place to puke" at some point in the evening, but i dont understand how i did this. http://tfl.nu/t3uy
  Replies (1) Good night (279) Bad night (600)
• Favorite

  (440): View more from Ohio

  he sent me the greatest dick pic I've ever received.

  (440): View more from Ohio

  he actually took the time to cut a fingertip off of a glove then put it on his dick like a beanie. he called it hipster dick.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (440): he sent me the greatest dick pic I've ever received. (440): he actually took the time to cut a fingertip off of a glove then put it on his dick like a beanie. he called it hipster dick. http://tfl.nu/0dsn
  Replies (10) Good night (974) Bad night (220)

Randomize