I need help removing her.
White wifebeaters are like orgies with fat people. Enjoyable in private, i'm sure, but in public: no thanksss.
Hey its my first time.
I think you mean "it's my first time"
It's a sad day when you realize you are no longer above fucking in movie theater bathrooms.
YOU CAN MICROWAVE POPTARTS!?!??!
oh man. maybe i should puke on his dick? just to test how much he loves me?
in the event i get tipsy, my nipples are your responsibility
My meds have diminished my sex drive, this must be what regular women feel like
She's barefoot and topless screaming "HERE KITTY-KITTY" at a stray cat in the ditch on the side of the highway. How do I get her back in the car?
I ran into a hotel and told the doorman he was doing a great job. That was before you cried on my jacket.
We found Mulan.
I thought you were in bed what the hell
Something tells me your "Titties for Tracy Morgan" fundraiser won't pan out.
I don't have the resources to adequately explain this. I need like a Powerpoint presentation and also Vodka.
My parents get here at 6 so I have to make it look like a sober virgin lives in my room by 5.
21st birthday weekend in Vegas has concluded and all I'm missing is my underwear and 'Contacts' icon on my phone home screen.
Randomize
