Tip #47, don't trim the bush when you have the shakes!
Five Mah tais Laser and i skill have not drunk dial you
I really hope I'm not the first person who's had to wash vomit off of cash and credit cards.
she played "i just wanna get married" by jagged edge while we were having sex. why cant i avoid stage 5 clingers
Here’s Everything Coming To Netflix This July
Yeah well tell that to drunk me. She seems to have no standards or gender preference.
and I keep making him eat me out and buying me presents, this is paradise. I wish he cheated on me earlier.
It is way too early in the summer for me to be coming into work still drunk.
no dude free pina colada`s taste like what I would expect my penis to taste like except gay-er.
do you think this outfit says "I maintained my dignity this weekend"?
19 Of The Creepiest (Most Inexplicable) Things People Experienced
I threw up in my room. And I cleaned it up with a spatula.
At a point I was just cumming dust last night
We were fucking in the boat on the lake when another boat saw us and honked their appreciation.
How do you explain to your kids that you met their mother well you were giving her a gynecological exam??
No, you are in the clear. The police officer finally just said "I give up" and walked away.
I got a discount on the lube for giving the cashier focaccia bread from work.