I did that thing again where I get way too drunk and go gay. Then wake up in the morning and freak out at the person. Yet another bar I cannot go back to
: am i supposed to send the mass text 'merry christmas!' to my booty calls too?
i convinced her i was a yoga teacher by showing her some warm-ups my high school track coach made up
its 4:30 pm. In the mall. Just threw up into my hands. I love Vegas and Vegas loves me
23 Roommates Share Secrets Their Roomie Thinks They Don’t Know
I truly believe that the solid foundation of any healthy relationship is a drunken one night stand so I can just get all the nasty shit out on the table
Even my psychiatrist thinks I should fuck the married guy.
Using the salt from a pretzel bag for tequila shots. Come over.
If I get laid, we are framing that mattress and hanging it on the wall as the place we both lost our virginities.
Shrimp lo Mein doused in green apple Smirnoff is a rare delicacy only a few get to experience..guess I should consider myself lucky
29 Cringeworthy Situations People Realized They Shouldn’t Be In
Water park on acid. THIS NEEDS TO HAPPEN!!
I want to lick his teeth again. Is that a creepy thing to say?
I woke up the other day with my Google browser open to "DIY lip injections"... I also just received a vial of hyaluronic acid and a package of TB syringes from amazon. I'm down.
I will have no part of this.
What happened after I vommed in your shirt that I was wearing and threw it out the window on the highway?
You came in last night, ate an entire avocado in silence, and then told me I should never accept rides from strangers. Not sure I even want to know what happened to you last night!
PS I almost downloaded grindr to see if any guys wanted to buy me chinese food..
Randomize
