Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(843): View more from South Carolina

Tip #47, don't trim the bush when you have the shakes!

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(516): View more from New York

Five Mah tais Laser and i skill have not drunk dial you

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(240): View more from Maryland

I really hope I'm not the first person who's had to wash vomit off of cash and credit cards.

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(610): View more from Pennsylvania

she played "i just wanna get married" by jagged edge while we were having sex. why cant i avoid stage 5 clingers

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Here’s Everything Coming To Netflix This July
Read it at the TFLN blog
(662): View more from Mississippi

Yeah well tell that to drunk me. She seems to have no standards or gender preference.

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(609): View more from New Jersey

and I keep making him eat me out and buying me presents, this is paradise. I wish he cheated on me earlier.

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(404): View more from Georgia

It is way too early in the summer for me to be coming into work still drunk.

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(517): View more from Michigan

We were fucking in the boat on the lake when another boat saw us and honked their appreciation.

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(914): View more from New York

I got a discount on the lube for giving the cashier focaccia bread from work.

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