What would a frattoo be? Maybe like the Chinese symbol for Keystone Light.
i will soon be in a relationship on fb
me and your mom. i mean, lisa.
I just peed in the Schreyer honors college shrubbery. Thanks honors students, you're finally good for something
Kill yourself wednesday started off with a bang, and im pretty sure im still drunk from tequila tuesday.
I have hit nutritional rock bottom I am spreading peanut butter on to lays potato chips
he just looked at me, said "i think i'll keep you around, you put the seat back up and everything," and then burst into tears.
Full contact beer pong was definitely not my best idea.
My cell phone fell out of my shirt pocket while tying my shoe on an escalator....which was followed by me being accused of trying to sneak an upskirt photo and being violently shoved down the top of the escalator. How's YOUR day?
You poured your drink on him and called him a "useless cocksucker" because he wouldn't give you a ride home... on his skateboard
You forgot the part where I played Slip and Slide with my own puke and fucked up my knee.
I will not get drunk on our first date. I will not get drunk on our first date. I will not get drunk on our first date.
Turns out Edward 40 hands and life-sized jenga is really hard...Didn't stop you from trying. How is your concussion?
Do you know that you can buy Cialis in Mexico? Best. Honeymoon. Ever.
The ride home was alright, we hooked up in the street next to his car after he smashed into the guard rail
He managed to rip my nipple last night....