Texts From Last Night

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  (305): View more from Florida

  I can't tonight. I'm still nursing a beach sex injury. Don't wanna talk about it.

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  (305): I can't tonight. I'm still nursing a beach sex injury. Don't wanna talk about it. http://tfl.nu/u417
  Replies (5) Good night (1801) Bad night (798)
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  (504): View more from Louisiana

  Aj just asked if we were going to the bulldog tonight..i told her no because of the expense and tests coming up..but mostly because i don't want herpes

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  (504): Aj just asked if we were going to the bulldog tonight..i told her no because of the expense and tests coming up..but mostly because i don't want herpes http://tfl.nu/awap
  Replies (11) Good night (745) Bad night (898)
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  (902): View more from Pr Edwrd Is, Nva Sctia

  My brain says no but my pants say off.

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  (902): My brain says no but my pants say off. http://tfl.nu/syce
  Replies (7) Good night (5166) Bad night (793)
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  (330): View more from Ohio

  I just had to have my mom look at my penis to figure out what it was. How do you think my day is going?

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  (330): I just had to have my mom look at my penis to figure out what it was. How do you think my day is going? http://tfl.nu/4uq9
  Replies (49) Good night (1254) Bad night (20791)
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  (516): View more from New York

  onenightstand. Woke up and saw my nuva ring on the floor. apparently he thought it was a glow stick. pick me up please?

  (443): View more from Maryland

  he didnt ask why there was a glowstick shoved up your vag?

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  (516): onenightstand. Woke up and saw my nuva ring on the floor. apparently he thought it was a glow stick. pick me up please? (443): he didnt ask why there was a glowstick shoved up your vag? http://tfl.nu/5o6h
  Replies (134) Good night (13458) Bad night (26159)
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  (713): View more from Texas

  she gave me a handjob in the middle of the night and my stomach growled so she walked out totally naked and came back 5 minutes later with two sandwiches. who the fuck says getting married is awful?

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  (713): she gave me a handjob in the middle of the night and my stomach growled so she walked out totally naked and came back 5 minutes later with two sandwiches. who the fuck says getting married is awful? http://tfl.nu/75hl
  Replies (123) Good night (47793) Bad night (2066)
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  (586): View more from Michigan

  If I wanted to fuck someone, I'd go for John. I'm meeting Bryan cuz I wanna get to know him better. And eventually fuck him. But not this Tuesday.

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  (586): If I wanted to fuck someone, I'd go for John. I'm meeting Bryan cuz I wanna get to know him better. And eventually fuck him. But not this Tuesday. http://tfl.nu/9are
  Replies (26) Good night (4406) Bad night (1146)
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  (412): View more from Pennsylvania

  we're going to drop off one of our cars at the police station tonight so we'll be able to drive home in the morning

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  (412): we're going to drop off one of our cars at the police station tonight so we'll be able to drive home in the morning http://tfl.nu/vjbm
  Replies (7) Good night (3225) Bad night (741)
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  (706): View more from Georgia

  I'm silent, like a masturbating ninja.

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  (706): I'm silent, like a masturbating ninja. http://tfl.nu/8z0x
  Replies (13) Good night (2416) Bad night (770)
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  (815): View more from Illinois

  E drugging s springing. Ease dnt Kate. To t e. ess e I meant thou.

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  (815): E drugging s springing. Ease dnt Kate. To t e. ess e I meant thou. http://tfl.nu/m8k9
  Replies (10) Good night (1237) Bad night (864)
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  (585): View more from New York

  Someone just got kicked out of the mall for being dressed like a giant cat. I feel like this is in your future.

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  (585): Someone just got kicked out of the mall for being dressed like a giant cat. I feel like this is in your future. http://tfl.nu/yjl5
  Replies (4) Good night (1734) Bad night (617)
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  (286): View more from

  I feel like I deserve an award for facing my fear of penises in my face.

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  (286): I feel like I deserve an award for facing my fear of penises in my face. http://tfl.nu/gle0
  Replies (9) Good night (681) Bad night (277)
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  (973): View more from New Jersey

  She's like the Oprah of therapy. AND YOU GET A STRAITJACKET. AND YOU GET A STRAITJACKET. WITH A PADDED ROOOOM

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  (973): She's like the Oprah of therapy. AND YOU GET A STRAITJACKET. AND YOU GET A STRAITJACKET. WITH A PADDED ROOOOM http://tfl.nu/axe1
  Replies (1) Good night (502) Bad night (325)
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  (928): View more from Arizona

  My one night stand said I love you, opened my fridge, stole my cream cheese and left.

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  (928): My one night stand said I love you, opened my fridge, stole my cream cheese and left. http://tfl.nu/85y4
  Replies (2) Good night (537) Bad night (385)
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  (630): View more from Illinois

  did you just send me my own nude

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  (630): did you just send me my own nude http://tfl.nu/pkyy
  Replies (1) Good night (426) Bad night (177)

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