Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(502): View more from Kentucky

So bad night, ended up beating off to porn and eating Keebler elf cookies.... at the same time :-(

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(502): So bad night, ended up beating off to porn and eating Keebler elf cookies.... at the same time :-( http://tfl.nu/sog4

Replies (26) Good night (1267) Bad night (4697)
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(847): View more from Illinois

So I'm at the Chevron by your house. I need a condom and a couch.

(541): View more from Oregon

Together?

(847): View more from Illinois

Preferably.

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(847): So I'm at the Chevron by your house. I need a condom and a couch. (541): Together? (847): Preferably. http://tfl.nu/lik5

Replies (21) Good night (3400) Bad night (624)
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(630): View more from Illinois

is it gross that my labia hangs so much that guys can't find my clit?

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(630): is it gross that my labia hangs so much that guys can't find my clit? http://tfl.nu/3vh4

Replies (107) Good night (1029) Bad night (13033)
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(570): View more from Pennsylvania

can you come get me at the bar

(301): View more from Maryland

ill be there in 10 min

(570): View more from Pennsylvania

can we stop off at build a bear on the way home

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(570): can you come get me at the bar (301): ill be there in 10 min (570): can we stop off at build a bear on the way home http://tfl.nu/der9

Replies (37) Good night (9727) Bad night (862)
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(850): View more from Florida

I didnt shave my beard last night, so I could feel it while Im shrooming today

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(850): I didnt shave my beard last night, so I could feel it while Im shrooming today http://tfl.nu/9m95

Replies (18) Good night (4689) Bad night (1137)
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(703): View more from Virginia

Her parties are sponsored by Valtrex. This might not be your best idea.

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(703): Her parties are sponsored by Valtrex. This might not be your best idea. http://tfl.nu/zyyz

Replies (17) Good night (894) Bad night (3313)
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(603): View more from New Hampshire

A small child is toddling around the store, holding a coloring book and a shot glass. Thinking of you.

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(603): A small child is toddling around the store, holding a coloring book and a shot glass. Thinking of you. http://tfl.nu/2hjp

Replies (4) Good night (2726) Bad night (664)
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(480): View more from Arizona

I had to brake up with him.

(602): View more from Arizona

In my experience drinking helps.

(480): View more from Arizona

You dont want to know why?

(602): View more from Arizona

Not really. I want to drink.

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(480): I had to brake up with him. (602): In my experience drinking helps. (480): You dont want to know why? (602): Not really. I want to drink. http://tfl.nu/mwqo

Replies (27) Good night (4729) Bad night (1126)
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(607): View more from New York

Just saw someone tackle someone else to the ground for their coors light; he's not getting back up.

(845): View more from New York

Yea, now that Irene is hitting us stores aren't selling any alcohol; beer is now a precious commodity.

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(607): Just saw someone tackle someone else to the ground for their coors light; he's not getting back up. (845): Yea, now that Irene is hitting us stores aren't selling any alcohol; beer is now a precious commodity. http://tfl.nu/u2xk

Replies (5) Good night (1969) Bad night (624)
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(209): View more from California

Good thing I took the morning after pill cuz I pretty much had packaged seamen in me like I was a squirrel saving it for later or something

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(209): Good thing I took the morning after pill cuz I pretty much had packaged seamen in me like I was a squirrel saving it for later or something http://tfl.nu/htcf

Replies (23) Good night (1034) Bad night (3426)
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(731): View more from Tennessee

Tonight, I'll be cleaning. And by cleaning, I mean drinking booze and spraying everything with Febreze.

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(731): Tonight, I'll be cleaning. And by cleaning, I mean drinking booze and spraying everything with Febreze. http://tfl.nu/erxr

Replies (1) Good night (2220) Bad night (573)
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(682): View more from Texas

I JUST WATCHED PAULA DEEN PUT BUTTER IN HER BLOODY MARY. This is not a drill. Real life.

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(682): I JUST WATCHED PAULA DEEN PUT BUTTER IN HER BLOODY MARY. This is not a drill. Real life. http://tfl.nu/x9h1

Replies (10) Good night (1007) Bad night (459)
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(269): View more from Michigan

I'm gonna send you a dick pic now just so your uncomfortable at work

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(269): I'm gonna send you a dick pic now just so your uncomfortable at work http://tfl.nu/fkwe

Replies (1) Good night (750) Bad night (351)
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(717): View more from Pennsylvania

He passed out. I tried to set his chest hair on fire.

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(717): He passed out. I tried to set his chest hair on fire. http://tfl.nu/b1n8

Replies (2) Good night (300) Bad night (486)
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(615): View more from Tennessee

Welp, I've officially cried in every Chipotle bathroom in the city. Correlation or causation?

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(615): Welp, I've officially cried in every Chipotle bathroom in the city. Correlation or causation? http://tfl.nu/r601

Replies (2) Good night (272) Bad night (425)

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