This got awkward about two "Oh yeah"s ago.
No room in fridge, chilling wine in snow. Do NOT let the dog pee on it.
I just realized that he was my first random hookup that didnt cause a massive breakup or divorce. Im starting to grow up
We have sex, then we talk about foreign policy. Its a win-win.
Hmd? did you really just created an abbrievation for hold my dick?
It made me think of you cause he just screamed "CAPTAIN PLANET" a lot and kicked people in the balls.
I'm making myself a nametag with my contact info and pinning it to myself like a kindergardenter in case I get lost when I black out on Sat.
Can we laminate it? Just to be safe.
he's gonorrhea incarnate
I can't relate, I like my boobs roaming free like a wild animal, and I occasionally let them devour small children
Uhh dog found a condom. FYI its on the table by couch please dispose of it. No reply Necessary
Me and my liver are not on speaking terms.
You're now part of the minority of friends who haven't seen my boobs.
Is it weird that I have your number saved in my phone as baby Jesus?
Also: I hate her so much. She's out at hooters, making spelling errors, while I'm literally sitting at a clinic getting std tested. Which of us won the morality award in this break up.
Arrived home from picking Mom and Nana up at the airport to find Marc buck ass nude beneath the Christmas tree. Nana says she always knew I was queer.
Randomize
