After work we went home to fool around. Turns out he had sawdust under his foreskin. I'm never going down on him again.
She makes me want to have breakfast margaritas every day
Fuck men. I'm going to go eat a package of cookie dough and get fat. I hope I die of salmonella.
This is no lauging matter. Huge cock equals great sex. Marriage to huge cock equals great life.
he thinks the dog can do a keg stand. i will let you know how it turns out
I had to brake up with him.
In my experience drinking helps.
You dont want to know why?
Not really. I want to drink.
Give me a reason to not spend the rest of my evening high watching dogs 101 videos
I didn't even know this guy existed until he'd had his hands down my pants, so I just went with it.
Never in my life did I dream that I would meet and NFL linesman, let alone that he would be standing before me dressed as a Roman centurion and asking for Vaseline.
HE LEFT ME THE DAY AFTER I LET HIM PEE ON ME. If you date him after that, I'll leave the fucking PLANET.
Were you the one who yelled "FOR GLORYHOLE!" then punched a hole through my door?
I had to dust off the condom box before she came over..
If we were teenagers we would intentionally be trying to burn down this historic landmark
can jess come too?
sure! but I don't have enough booze for the both of you.
she comes with her own booze, no worries.
Also, in case they didn’t tell you… there is a chicken living in your old room… so I would assume cleaning that is now on them
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