You dirty dirty liar I like the way you twitter
and then you made a playlist that was just "party in the usa" on repeat...
His texts read Like a 15 year olds diary.
There's a lady carrying her kids toy animals in a crown royal bag. Mom of the year.
Don't be a smartass. I'm trying to fuck a guy who's sober. It's more difficult than you think.
i dont even feel safe using a push mower...that hungover
Hurricane Sex Time is the only thing iv said since it started.
Buying weed with grant money. God I love college. No other time are we presented with these opportunities.
Being thankful with your family is one thing. Being thankful with your friends while getting drunk and smoking bowls while eating leftovers, priceless.
I can't leave your house without my underwear spending the night.
Everytime I try to keep track of the amount of people I slept with I always forget about that guy I met on the dc metro, where I woke up to him organizing his Special K and Molly and I was covered in sleeping cats.
look for me at the Giants game I will possibly be the drunk girl passed out by 2nd
Good friends chat about sex - great friends ask about safe words.
Nothing to be ashamed of. I bet Oprah has sharted.
It's a shame, really, because he's got the cock of a horse... And the personality of dry toast.
Randomize
