did that guy on the oscars really just tell me to text a dolphin?
Fat spanish girl grinding against air conditioner. ive seen everything now
Before he took off his pants he paused and said, "Remember..sometimes great things come in small packages."
His beard is glorious and he smells like barbecue. Introduce me to him.
if you really don't think our country's going to shit think of this. Exactly one year from now I will either be in law school or teaching young, impressionable kids, maybe even yours. Try to sleep after that.
ok so I've decided, new penis Thursday (formally known as new people Thursday) will need to be put on hold next week in preparation for Friday
Memorial weekend is the following week genius. New penis Thursday countdown has already begun.
We realized tonight that we have to get advice about guys from you because you're our only straight male friend that neither of us has slept with.
Pretty sure the nurse said at one point I was in full restraints because I tried surfing my stretcher
He thinks he's a sex addict. Just. My. Type.
She insisted on cleaning her room in the dark. 5 minutes in, she forgot what she was doing and started putting shirts on instead of hanging them up.
Bryan's allergic to that cheap detergent, so he's been naked for three days. But we're all used to it now, so the party is still on.
All I vaguely remember from last night is getting up on that nice mahogany table and debating about squirrel's rights
Do you think if 10 year old us knew that we would be passing out in a McDonalds after a hefty night of drinking, and 23 McChickens, they'd change anything?
Sex in a tree, bucket list CHECK!
He finished and he wasn't even totally hard. He actually came without a boner.
HOW IS THAT EVEN POSSIBLE.
Randomize
