It's Friday. Sex?
you turned your livingroom into a bong?
My dad hugged me and said I love u. I'm glad I didn't pull out that night.
you pissed in the sink and didnt realize it until it was time to wash your hands
my mom took me to a gay bar and went on and on about all her good times at clubs... i now know where i get it
There are too many people on this bus for it to be even REMOTELY okay that I'm wearing a puke covered sweater
She sucked my dick while i watched james bond. And they say marriage sucks
I just woke up in his house on his bathroom floor with an IV in my arm.
I succsesfully kept my nipples in my dress all night. Even when I got in a fight. I was made for the bar.
Printed off fake 'Producer' Sundance badges for us. Pretty sure they double as free passes for getting laid by 'actresses'. Testing this theory tonight.
The party got busted because you two got caught having sex on the neighbors trampoline, come on man.
I am going to ride along with a cop tonight so please don't get arrested because that would be super awkward for me.
I'm out of town so we should be golden.
I yelled kanye while he was fucking me. It just felt right
I need you to perform a face transplant. Please remove your face from your accounting book and relocate it to where it's most needed - between my legs.
Well I've made a drinking game out of the Wiggles but I think I've got this babysitting thing down
Randomize
