After last night I still want u
But please keep that on the DL
My mom caught just caught me jerking off...in her room.
we should go somewhere reaaaaaal shady
We saw some woman wearing leather pants. It was weird. We have decided to follow her on her travels to see where people go in leather pants in Michigan.
Pretty sure I just slept with Elmo.
It feels wrong to have dick mouth at a family dinner.
I just got licked by a stripper, not so great anymore.
No i'm not calming down the girl at white castle did not need to see the picture of my dick on your phone.
At least I'm doing lines with a notecard. That counts for something right
After the 3rd shot, she was running around singing, "Twinkle Twinkle Big Ol' Dick, on your happy place I'll sit" to your brother.
Put that bitch's torch out. She's been voted off.
We watched scrubs, then I got a shower blowjob which led to shower sex and the living room floor sex. Now she's baking cookies. I may not be studying, but I'm doing something right.
Besides he said his dick was as big as a loaf of bread and that it was broken. So I was like u have half a head of hair and a broken dick that looks like bread. No thanks. Im good.
He told me he felt like he was just pistol-whipped by Testicle Man.
This is my last chance to be the first person to fall off this roof.
My favourite part was when you contorted upside down in the tub and said "I don't want to be upside down"
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