i got turned down by a girl after she saw how big my penis was and she said "thats not goin in me"
Cumbucket.....OH MY GOD THAT COMES UP AUTOMATICALLY NOW!!
Goddamn it, are you fucking her sister?
did you know it's going to storm tonight?
You bitch. At least tell Laura she's a better kisser.
its like national bring your ginger to the pool day or something
Nothing like a little anal leakage to start off Sunday morning. Can't decide if that speaks well of my weekend or not...
I'm sorry. I know you didn't expect me to be arm deep in vagina when you walked through the door.
no, that was the night I slathered your dick in the icing from my birthday cake
who was wearing the fake mustache? I just found one in my cleavage
Jesus himself couldn't make a better sandwich
I'm just gonna use that pot butter as dip for chips. That's fat, American AND stoner!
You ever sit back and realize our friendship is based off us ranting at each other with random animal photos thrown in
Dude I asked him to get me beef jerky at 4 am and he actually walked to CVS to get it. CVS closes at 12 but it was the perfect opp to dip out
I mean, she's batshit insane and once choked a guy with one hand but she's still MILF material in my book.
God does not give you boobs that amazing to not share them with your friends
Just got an x-ray done of my hip and you can clearly see the outline of my penis in it. When the doctor saw it she said "wow I haven't seen one that big on an x-ray before." Pretty sure the doc and the nurses are going to be talking about me on their lunch break.
Randomize
