You really coming over, don't trick.
so last night was fun and all.. but you might want to get tested
Get condoms and clear your schedule for the night. I'm bringing chinese food!
I'm considering telling her about my dream where I made a sex tape with her boyfriend. you know to test our friendship
So I just saw Jonah Hill at LAX and decided my fat fetish is back
You should go to counseling for that
Well... He is a good looking man underneath all the fat and muff.
I spent most of the night trying to drink out of three bottles of beer at once. I don't have to be told the reasons I'm single
He wanted to drink hypnotic from my butt crack. I need to move out this state.
It was drunk tag. I was Alice in wonderland chasing a ballerina who was chasing Lance Armstrong who had needles in his arms.
I was smelling my bathroom to make sure it didn't reek of weed...I spaced out and realized I was face to the wall sniffing it for 5 minutes.
She brought over her portable harddrive and we dueled with porn. This relationship is too beautiful to last.
I told him to come over when I realized that I did have time for a quick booty call before church.
You haven't lived until you have fucked while Fantasia is on
Just burnt my tongue. Not sure if it will help or hurt giving blow jobs
I just traded sex to frolic with a box of husky puppies. Is this rock bottom?
Randomize
