You don't get off work for this? I feel genuinely bad for you.
I'll have a beer when I get into the office. Yes, I hide beer in my work frige.
I got it! After our exam we take shots for every question we skipped!!!
I don't wanna die...
The best was having to tell my 16y/o cuz and her bf that we could see him fingering her in the inner tube. Lucky for them, I'm the cool cousin... and was river-level fuckedup.
All I remember is taking a bath, puking in the bath water numerous times while trying to wash myself and I must of eventually given up
When you accidentally type "I want Prince William to fuck me in the ass" to your mom there's really no way to take that back.
Next test. Underwater blowjob. If you fail...out of water blow job
Hey my results were negative. Your chlamydia train stops here. Happy hunting!
Also CANADIAN LIPS TASTE OF MAPLE SYRUP AND APOLOGIES. SORRY.
Iron Man just asked me back to his place... Not sure I can handle this. Wish me luck.
I "liked" his changed relationship status just to show him I'm ok with the fact he found someone not as pretty as me
Awk moment when I forgot to tell my hookup about visitor parking so he got towed
Tight. Want to get up, make coffee, sit on separate couches and silently read our mobile devices together?
We fucked. Had a political debate. I won. So I sat on his face.
So we'll go out later for condoms and cake batter... aka grocery shopping for champions.
We bird danced in front of the bird cages for 20 minutes. I think it was our way of being like fuck you guys you're in a cage and we're on summer break.
Randomize
